I mock Disney for shoving its films back in the vault to create artificial scarcity but it does have its advantages. Primarily, it allows Disney to create the next big sensation; while it annoys their customers, the practice keeps its in-house teams on target to work on promoting what’s new rather than what’s out there.
Maybe it’s just the circles I run in, but there are more than a few subjects I think are overdone to the point where I now dread clicking on certain links. So at the risk of curtailing my own entertainment choices here are 7 things I think should go back in the vault for at least 3 to 5 years:
- Zombies. Wow, am I ever done with Zombies. Yes, I still watch the Walking Dead but if they pulled it off the air, I would not shed a tear. I’m tired of the gore, tired of the tongue-in-cheek and really, really tired of cutesy zombies (Hello Zombie, zombie baby animals, and so on). I guess this means I can pull about a half-dozen films off our DVD shelves too.
- Steampunk. Heck, I was over this a long time ago but now Justin Bieber has put out a Christmas video with a steampunk theme and I think I can officially declare the genre dead. Stop it already.
- 3D. Really, I think this deserves more than a vault… maybe one of those cases you can fire into space somewhere? I know 3D is the next big thing in home entertainment according to half the marketing world but I don’t want it. I know I am not alone! I had high hopes for Scorsese’s use of the medium in Hugo, figuring he was one of the few creators who might have a real use for it but the result was ultimately “average.”
- Geek Culture. Yes, I am a geek, a nerd, a dork, whatever, and I was before it was so trendy. Now? I’m over it. Sci-fi quotes, Star Wars, Star Trek, math and physics jokes… they are everywhere. And while I still celebrate my personal geek allegiance, I don’t need it in my face all day long.
- LOL Speak. No, you cannot “haz cheeseburger.” May we please return to using something akin to English? I caught my daughter using LOL speak recently and told her I would have none of that in my presence.
- Caturday. Look, I am a cat person. I like cats, really, and I understand that “the internet is made of cats” but I do not need to have my social media feeds filled with additional cute cat photos one day per week.
- Reboots & Reimaginings. Let’s look at some of the questionable what’s-old-is-new films coming down the pipes: The Three Stooges (yes, really); Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (poor Jules Verne…); Battleship (which is not the only Hasbro game getting the movie treatment…); Total Recall (Oh, Colin Farrell, what were you thinking?) and so many more. Look through any month of releases and you’ll be likely to find at least two such films.
Huh. So looking over my list, maybe really I just need to unsubscribe from Boing Boing…
I am with you on some. I never ever got the whole I can has cheeseburger ( or has anything else) routine; Abhor LOL , and never understood the desire to remake a classic.
As for “remaking a classic”– I hope in a decade or so they re-do the Star Wars series to make it all make sense (and get rid of those stupid midichlorians and Ewoks).
Some adaptations are bad and need a re-do: eg. Mr. Popper’s Penguins was tragic and I, Robot also was a travesty. If those were done more in line with the original material, that would be great.