There are a few things I am not very good at — scratch that; there are a few tasks I suck at. today I hit an intersection of some of those things and it caused me anxiety, stress, frustration, and a lot of self-directed anger that all ended up spilling over and making both my day and Shawn’s day unpleasant.
Filing papers, tracking financial things, and dealing with government agencies are all things I actively avoid at all turns. Today I couldn’t put off any longer what I had been delaying but it meant I had to do all these things I hate (because I suck at them) one after the other.
First, I had to find a bunch of statements among a stack of unsorted statements, bills, receipts, and other paperwork, so I spent a chunk of time sorting. Then I had to figure out how much GST one of the companies had collected and paid in the last year and the first quarter of this year which meant some spreadsheet entry. Then I had to file online with the Canada Revenue Agency. Shudder.
It was frustrating but going OK until I was done the online filing when I realized I had posted financials from one company under another company’s number. When I tried to fix it, I was shunted through a digital maze and eventually offered a “service not available” notice.
I took it as a sign from the universe to walk away from the computer and we went for lunch.
I still have to finish filing and I still have to sort out the mess with the CRA. Lunch made things temporarily better, but I feel like a heel. I tell myself time and again, it is ridiculously short-sighted to put off filing. Every time this happens, I vow to stop the behavior.
Yes, I know “if you do a little bit every day — or if you do it as soon as you get the mail — it won’t seem so tedious and overwhelming” but I’m sure you’ll agree that knowing the right way to do something is not the same as doing things the right way.
So, this weekend, I will file. After that, I will try — yet again — to stay on top of the pile but I would much prefer to be able to hire someone to do it for me.